Success and Failure

For the last few months I have missed attending Relief Society on Sunday's due to baby blessings, family birthdays and getting asked to sub in primary. Finally, last Sunday was going to be a Sunday where I could attend - I was thrilled!

Then, I got asked to sub primary. Caught of guard I didn't know what else to say but - yes. It wasn't until a few minutes later I remembered that my mom was coming up to visit and she was going to spend the night and go to church with us - and I wanted to go to Relief Society with her. So, I went to my friend's house and apologized and let her know I wasn't going to be able to sub. She was very kind about it and I felt a sense of guilt (like I was being selfish) and had to remind myself that I sub every month and it was okay to let someone else have the opportunity to sub. I really felt like I was supposed to go to RS on Sunday and I couldn't ignore that feeling.

Now I know why I was supposed to go. It was lesson written just for me! When the lesson began, our teacher wrote the words "success" and "failure" on the board. She then asked if anyone wanted to share an experience they have had with success or failure. The first thing that came to my mind was."Well, I wrote an entire book about this - which experience should I share?"

Then the RS president who is also my neighbor said, "Did you know that Lindsey wrote a book called Successful Failures? I'm so glad I read it because it helped me to understand why certain things happened in my life the way that they did and learning to seek the will of the Lord."

The teacher didn't know about my book, but I felt a little sheepish because lately I sure could use my own advice. You see, lately I have struggled as I see things that I have no control over (but I have invested so much blood, sweat and tears into) never reach fruition. It's hard not to feel like a failure. It's hard not feel frustrated especially when I have entrusted those projects into other people's hands, and I no longer have much of a say. It's hard when other people are relying on me and those projects to be successful so that it can bless them (as they too have invested so much blood, sweat and tears into my projects). It's hard when I know that the Spirit prompted me to take on those projects and led me to those people to involve them and things just are working out how I hoped. It's really hard to chew on.

I try my best to look for the good, remain positive and remember everything I wrote in my book. Sometimes though, I feel like I need to hear an answer from God Himself in order to feel better. That's what happened with this lesson.

The first quote from the lesson (the Lorenzo Snow Manual) that stood out was, "when we seek God's will, we follow a course in which there will be no failure". Yes, our vision of failure is much different than God's. If I have been following the promptings of the Spirit and seeking God's will, how can I be frustrated? If I have become frustrated than it's because I have been seeking my own will.

I think sometimes, I just hope and assume that God's will and my will are the same. Because my desires are righteous, our wills should be the same - right? How easily we forget that God knows everything, he sees the big picture and everything that we can't see or understand.

My mom told me that I still need to be positive and have faith that the things that I ask for will come to pass - because without faith that God will answer my prayers, He can't answer them. At first that seemed to contradict itself. If I am having faith that he will grant my will - well, what about His will? What if they are not the same? I truly believe that I need to put my faith in His will. I can still ask for things but at the same time put my faith in Him, that however He chooses to answer my prayers is okay with me because I trust His will. So, rather than putting my faith in the things that I want and that they will happen the way I want them to, I need to put my faith in God that he hears my prayers and will give me what's best for me on His timetable.

This lesson helped remind me that if I seek to build the kingdom in EVERYTHING I do, His will and mine will be come more closely aligned. Another quote I enjoyed was, "As we obey God's will, He gives us power to succeed in His work."

Yes, this lesson was exactly what I needed to hear. Sometimes we know things inside and out but we just need gentle reminders along the way. We are human and we get forgetful.

I know that God has a wonderful plan for all of us, and if we seek to know what it is and we ask for guidance, we will see
success happen in our lives. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ amen.

Update on the Prayer Experiment

My sister issued me a challenge earlier this month and said that in addition to my morning and evening prayers, I needed to talk to Heavenly Father during the day asking for specific things. I told her that I always felt bad for some reason, asking for things. So, for a long time I never asked for much other than to be protected and kept safe and for other people. I found that my prayers were always gratitude prayers - telling him everything I'm thankful for.

My sister gave me a wake up call when she said, "No, he wants you to ask for things so he can give them to you." I thought to myself how right she was. He wants to show us daily how wonderful and loving he is, he wants us to ask for things so he can demonstrate that he is God and he makes everything possible in our lives and that we are dependent upon him. Wow!

For a time I would tell myself that if something is God's will for me, he will make it happen. I don't need to ask for it because I don't want him to think I am greedy or selfish. He knows my goals and desires and I will just keep doing the best I can and just show him I'm grateful.

Well, I began to notice that though nothing bad was happening in my life, nothing amazing was happening either. Everything was at a standstill. Sure I was healthy and we had the things we needed so each day I thanked him for that. But life wasn't progressing. Business was at a standstill, my goals weren't going anywhere even though I spent a lot of time working on them. I wasn't having amazing spiritual experiences but I was going to the temple and doing all the things I was supposed to be. It felt very blah.

So, when my sister gave me this challenge I was so excited to try it out. She told me about her experiences and that each time she knelt down to ask for one specific thing, it happened within 24 hours or sooner. She then said that as soon as you recognize your prayer has been answered, you need to kneel down immediately and thank him. By doing this each day - your life will change and your testimony will grow.

So right after I got off the phone with her, I knelt down and gave it a try. My first prayer was on 5/16/13 and I recorded it in my prayer and gratitude journal. I keep track of my prayers that way I recognize when they are answered. So, I decided to keep it simple and I prayed that I would sell a book. I have a book distributor who sells my books and pays me royalties but I also have my own online bookstore where I sell my books. I haven't sold a paperback copy on there since fall of 2012.

Right after I ended my prayer the phone rang. It was my neighbor. She said, "Lindsey I was wondering if I could buy a book from you for my daughter's birthday" I couldn't believe it - I was smiling from ear to ear. That just goes to show that Heavenly Father is waiting to bless us but we just have to ask. I felt that he was just as excited to answer my prayer and show me how wonderful he is, as I was to have had it answered so quickly.

I called my sister back and said, "I'm ready to report on the challenge" she said "What?" and I told her how my first prayer had just been answered - that quick. She said, well now you need to kneel and thank him. So I got off the phone and that's what I did.

My neighbor who called me told me that the spirit had prompted her to mention some other things that I may have been in need of hearing. How right she was. There was something that had been stressing me out and she gave me the advice I needed to hear without even knowing about that issue. I felt that was a bonus tender mercy from the Lord to show me how much he cares.

My next prayer was about my song. I recorded a song last year, that I felt prompted to write and record but haven't known what to do with it since. I always thought, if it's the Lord's will he will make something come of it. So, I prayed that I could be given an opportunity to share my song with more people.

Later that day, I was cleaning out my spam email and I something caught my eye. I almost deleted it but something told me to open it - so I did. It was an email from a newer company called radioairplay.com and it was telling me that I could upload my song to their website and it would be heard on online radio stations around the world. So, I went to the website and saw that I had 150 free credits to start with. That meant my song would play 150 times for free. I was excited! During the week it showed me where my song was being played and who was listening. People became fans of my song and began to share it. It was amazing. God had again answered my prayer and I thanked him.

Later on, I took on a project of transferring my old family videos to the computer. I ran into several obstacles. The technology was so outdated that it wasn't compatible with any of my computers. So, on 5/22/13 I prayed that I could find a solution that day of what I would need to do. I then went to facebook and posted my technical issue. Later that night someone from my ward told me that there was a certain cable I would need, that apparently hasn't been in production for the last 5 years. She happened to have one and let me borrow it. It worked! Then it turned out the software was no longer compatible with the camera and I needed an old software from 2005. I happened to have the old software on an old tower but couldn't hook it up to my newer monitor. This same friend's husband emailed me a picture of the cord I would need to do this and by a miracle I found it hidden in a box in my house. I was so happy, I thanked the Lord!

The next day that old computer tower broke! I prayed that it would be a simple fix so I wouldn't have to spend any money repairing it. I took it in and they blew it out all the dust and suddenly the fan was working again and the tower no longer overheated - it was fixed!

So, in summary - I can personally testify that when we ask for something very specific the Lord answers. I have prayed for small and simple things but nothing is impossible for the Lord. I challenge you to try it as well. Pray for simple things that are important to you and see what happens - always pray for the bigger things as well - but sometimes those things take time. Praying for small and simple things isn't frivolous to the Lord and he is happy to bless you with those things.

I say this in the name of Jesus Christ amen.

My Prayer Experiment

My sister gave me some wonderful advice the day that I wrote the last post. It was almost like a challenge that I turned into an experiment. She said to get started on it right away and I would get instant results. So, I figured it couldn't hurt - I took her advice and within a minute's time I got results!

I've decided to log my experience and report back as soon as my experiment has ended. I can't wait to share with you - because it will only make your life so much better.

That same day I felt that I should revisit my goals and dreams - working on the current ones and setting new ones. After all, the more we are willing to do the more the Lord can use us. The more we use our talents and gifts, the more he blesses us. I've realized that going after righteous goals and dreams with the mindset that I have another 100 years left of a great life to look forward to on this Earth has been making all the difference!

I started up some new goals today and I can see that the small efforts I have made have already been making a difference throughout the world - just over night. It's exciting what this amazing internet can do for you when you decide to use it to reach out and touch other people. Life feels good!

Now if I could just help my kids do the same! ;)

My Fears, Worries and Testimony

My goal with this blog is to be an example of how to stand tall in a chaotic world. I do my best to be a great example and to do all I can to help build your testimony and strengthen your faith - but today I have to admit (with your permission) I'd like to turn the tables (just for today) and instead of providing strength, I'm asking for it.  

Life is sure getting crazy and sometimes unpredictable. I have to say that over the last six months it's been more difficult to find the joy. Being positive and smiling comes natural to me - it's what I've always been good at doing. Finding the rainbow in every storm and turning lemons into lemonade is the only thing I know how to do well. However, I've noticed a change over the last six months. It seems that the darkening world around us sure knows how to interfere with my happy vibes.

You see, even a few years ago it felt like there was always "more time" so I was able to plan fun goals, exciting projects and see some of my dreams come true. Now, it feels like there are just a few sands left in the hour glass and I need to spend that time as wisely as possible. Like most of you, I feel the major events of the last days lurking nearby. In fact I feel surrounded by them which has put a stop to me chasing my dreams. Just trying to deal with reality can be pretty exhausting.

Dreaming and goal setting have always been the wheels to my positive drive. But I've come to a point where it seems pointless to plan a future trip to Disney Land or work on my three novel series that I would like to see turned into a movie, when it's seeming very likely that world chaos will put a stop to all of that. Every moment that I spend time writing my book I wonder, "Is this a waste of my time? Should I be doing genealogy or scripture study instead?" I wonder, "Will it even get published if society breaks down by the end of the year?" But then I feel good about writing it, because it has a powerful and good message, so I continue on.

I know we are supposed to go on with life and live each day to the fullest and not hide away from the world in fear, but deep down it constantly crosses my mind that all of these things I want to do won't be accomplished - there just isn't enough time.

That's where faith comes in and that's what keeps me going. For example, I really want to have another child (as if three isn't enough). My husband does not and I've been trying to convince him for a long time to change his mind. I've prayed about it, fasted, gone to the temple etc. but so far he hasn't budged. The answer I get from the Lord is "Whatever you decide is fine with me"

Part of me worries that this is the wrong time to be having another child with earthquakes, plagues and war on the horizon. I mean, there might not even be a functioning hospital by the time the baby would arrive. I'm RH negative and I would need a gamma globulin shot in the third trimester or the baby and I could die. My food storage isn't equipped with formula and diapers because of the ages of my kids. So trying to have a fourth baby really stirs anxiety right now. But then at the same time I realize it's a righteous desire and it would be a great opportunity for me to exercise faith in the Lord and cast my fears away.

That's just one example on the list of the many things I worry about. It's very difficult to make plans for the future when you feel like there is not much future left. All I know is that's why it's so important to live by the Spirit. The Spirit will tell us when things are right for us and will be our guide in this scary world we live in, but we need not fear when we have faith in the Lord and a relationship with him. That's what I continue to tell myself each day as I struggle with finding the old joys and excitements that used to be much more abundant.

I know that I am where I'm supposed to be because the Lord led me and my husband here a year ago through miraculous means. I have worried about where I live because many have had visions and dreams about a nuclear bomb going off about 15 miles away from my house in the near future, but at the same time the Lord tells me that I am supposed to be here. I can't argue with that and I really shouldn't have fear if I trust in him.

 We are planning a trip to Germany to see my in-laws and it's during a time that many have speculated will be when the economy collapses and the earthquakes and plagues will come etc. but as much as I tried to plan it earlier in the year it just wouldn't happen - so again I remind myself that everything happens for a reason and I just need to trust the Lord.

For me I think the reason I struggle is because I'm used to having control over most things in my life, but for some reason everything going on in my life right now, I have little to no control over it. That scares me and for the first time ever I've been having anxiety and panic attacks. It's been an eye opening lesson to learn that maybe all of this is happening to help me hand all control over to the Lord and realize that the only thing I really have control over is my attitude and my testimony/faith.

In conclusion, I guess the moral of my story is - if we let fear consume us then it's a lose/lose situation. If we are willing to trust in the Lord then he can remove that fear and bring us the peace we desire. I know the answer to all of this, I mean I wrote a book and a song about it (my music video up above) but I guess because I'm human, every now and then I need some reminding.

I love the Savior and I sure can't wait to see him again. I know that God has a plan for each of us and if we are willing to trust him we will see some beautiful and amazing things come to pass in our own lives. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ amen.

 

An Atheist's Witness of Jesus Christ

You know me, I love to read about dreams, visions and out of body experiences. I came across this one last night on The Wood Zone blog. It's so beautiful and I love that the man who experienced it was an atheist.

It's another confirmation to me of how amazing our Father in Heaven and his Son really are!

Enjoy!

http://woodyoubelieveit.blogspot.com/2013/05/another-witness-that-2013-holds-some.html

Mummies, Ancient Papyrus and a Mysterious Record

I think this is an amazing story! God works in mysterious ways - in that these ancient records buried in Egypt made their way to Ohio into the hands of the prophet Joseph Smith who knew nothing about them until he received them - and discovered they were the writings of Abraham while he was in Egypt, called the Book of Abraham, written by his own hand, upon papyrus. It's a record of the life of the patriarch Abraham and a description of the creation of the world similar to that in Genesis and the Book of Moses.This book is a part of the Pearl of Great Price.

So here's the story behind this amazing discovery:

In the late 1820s an Italian explorer named Antonio Lebolo obtained eleven mummies from an ancient tomb in Egypt. When Lebolo died the mummies were shipped to the United States. A man named Michael Chandler came into possession of the mummies (through inheritance) in 1833. He opened the coffins and was disappointed not to find jewels or valuable treasures. Instead he found attached to some of the bodies of the mummies, linen cloths containing rolls of papyrus. These papyrus rolls had Egyptian writing on them. Mr. Chandler took the rolls to Pennsylvania, in search of someone who could translate the writings, but even the most educated of these men were only able to understand a little of the writings.

Mr. Chandler decided to travel around the country showing people the mummies, and in the summer of 1835 he came to Kirtland, Ohio. He was told that Joseph Smith, had the ability to interpret the writings. Joseph Smith had already translated the Egyptian writings of the Book of Mormon. Later some friends of the Prophet bought four mummies and the rolls of papyrus from Mr. Chandler. Joseph Smith studied the letters and grammar of the Egyptian language, and then, with the help of the Holy Ghost, he translated the writings on the papyrus rolls. The writings Joseph Smith translated tell about the ancient prophet Abraham and are now published as the book of Abraham in the Pearl of Great Price. This was quite exciting!

Michael Chandler sold the mummies, until four remained and he sold them to the Church in Kirtland.
Two of the four mummies and some papyri were later sold to the St. Louis museum in 1856. In 1863 these two mummies and some records were sold to the Wood's Museum in Chicago. The most common version of the story is that the two mummies and the records were burned in the Chicago fire in 1871. The other two mummies that Combs purchased, and possibly some records, haven't been located yet.

I know that Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price are all works of God brought fourth in our modern day to help us learn the fullness of the gospel so that we can return to live with our Father in Heaven and his son. They are powerful books that have changed and blessed many lives. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ amen. 
















http://emp.byui.edu/openshawr/Class%20Articles/The%20Mormon%20Mummies%20and%20Papyri%20in%20OhioH.htm

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?locale=0&sourceId=d20ba41f6cc20110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=198bf4b13819d110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD

http://maxwellinstitute.byu.edu/publications/books/?bookid=105&chapid=1173

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Smith_Papyri

When You See That Cloud of Gloom.....

Yesterday was a very rough day for me. It seemed like everyone in the universe was letting me down. I don't know if it was the way the stars were aligned or what, but I've never had a day where I received so much bad news.

Phone call after phone call including emails and texts; I seemed to get a message every hour from someone (all in relation to completely different subjects) about something that they had dropped the ball on big time.

By 6:00 pm I felt an anxiety attack coming on and I couldn't take it anymore. My whole world seemed to be caving in, out of whack, in complete chaos - I had no control. Finally, my husband suggested I call a certain person to address some of these issues with. I didn't want to burden that person plus it was dinner time. But then I felt a loud voice in my head urging me to call this person now. It needed to be loud to compete with all the negative thoughts that were pulsating through my mind.

It turned out that this person had been receiving promptings from the spirit to talk to me about these very issues and she was so glad that I called her. She said if I'd have waited to call her it may have been too late for some things, so she was glad I called her when I did.

It was such a weight off my shoulder to release some of these issues and hand them over to her. But then...there were still all the other unrelated items of the day that I was struggling with. Suddenly, something unexpected happened. I began to get calls, emails and texts (all unrelated) from other people telling me WONDERFUL news - all the way until 10:00 pm. I went from hopelssness to euphoria in just one hour. Talk about exhausting!

I finally realized the Lord in his goodness was sending me tender mercies to help me avoid my breaking point. I have never seen anything like it.

The thought that came to mind was sometimes the Lord just needs us to endure as long as we can and if we endure as best we can, he will rescue us and reward us.

I felt bad for allowing the cloud of doom to follow me around yesterday - if I'd have known how the day was going to end, I would have dismissed it all. But that's the beauty of it! Not knowing what's around the corner and just trusting that the Lord is aware of us and what we are going through - when the timing is right he will rescue us.

Whatever struggles you are going through right now- hang in there! Trust me, you'll see :)

The Lord loves you and he needs you to exercise trust and faith in him before he can show you the awesome part! I say this in the name of Jesus Christ amen.