Success and Failure

For the last few months I have missed attending Relief Society on Sunday's due to baby blessings, family birthdays and getting asked to sub in primary. Finally, last Sunday was going to be a Sunday where I could attend - I was thrilled!

Then, I got asked to sub primary. Caught of guard I didn't know what else to say but - yes. It wasn't until a few minutes later I remembered that my mom was coming up to visit and she was going to spend the night and go to church with us - and I wanted to go to Relief Society with her. So, I went to my friend's house and apologized and let her know I wasn't going to be able to sub. She was very kind about it and I felt a sense of guilt (like I was being selfish) and had to remind myself that I sub every month and it was okay to let someone else have the opportunity to sub. I really felt like I was supposed to go to RS on Sunday and I couldn't ignore that feeling.

Now I know why I was supposed to go. It was lesson written just for me! When the lesson began, our teacher wrote the words "success" and "failure" on the board. She then asked if anyone wanted to share an experience they have had with success or failure. The first thing that came to my mind was."Well, I wrote an entire book about this - which experience should I share?"

Then the RS president who is also my neighbor said, "Did you know that Lindsey wrote a book called Successful Failures? I'm so glad I read it because it helped me to understand why certain things happened in my life the way that they did and learning to seek the will of the Lord."

The teacher didn't know about my book, but I felt a little sheepish because lately I sure could use my own advice. You see, lately I have struggled as I see things that I have no control over (but I have invested so much blood, sweat and tears into) never reach fruition. It's hard not to feel like a failure. It's hard not feel frustrated especially when I have entrusted those projects into other people's hands, and I no longer have much of a say. It's hard when other people are relying on me and those projects to be successful so that it can bless them (as they too have invested so much blood, sweat and tears into my projects). It's hard when I know that the Spirit prompted me to take on those projects and led me to those people to involve them and things just are working out how I hoped. It's really hard to chew on.

I try my best to look for the good, remain positive and remember everything I wrote in my book. Sometimes though, I feel like I need to hear an answer from God Himself in order to feel better. That's what happened with this lesson.

The first quote from the lesson (the Lorenzo Snow Manual) that stood out was, "when we seek God's will, we follow a course in which there will be no failure". Yes, our vision of failure is much different than God's. If I have been following the promptings of the Spirit and seeking God's will, how can I be frustrated? If I have become frustrated than it's because I have been seeking my own will.

I think sometimes, I just hope and assume that God's will and my will are the same. Because my desires are righteous, our wills should be the same - right? How easily we forget that God knows everything, he sees the big picture and everything that we can't see or understand.

My mom told me that I still need to be positive and have faith that the things that I ask for will come to pass - because without faith that God will answer my prayers, He can't answer them. At first that seemed to contradict itself. If I am having faith that he will grant my will - well, what about His will? What if they are not the same? I truly believe that I need to put my faith in His will. I can still ask for things but at the same time put my faith in Him, that however He chooses to answer my prayers is okay with me because I trust His will. So, rather than putting my faith in the things that I want and that they will happen the way I want them to, I need to put my faith in God that he hears my prayers and will give me what's best for me on His timetable.

This lesson helped remind me that if I seek to build the kingdom in EVERYTHING I do, His will and mine will be come more closely aligned. Another quote I enjoyed was, "As we obey God's will, He gives us power to succeed in His work."

Yes, this lesson was exactly what I needed to hear. Sometimes we know things inside and out but we just need gentle reminders along the way. We are human and we get forgetful.

I know that God has a wonderful plan for all of us, and if we seek to know what it is and we ask for guidance, we will see
success happen in our lives. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ amen.