New Way to Minister?

As ministering is becoming a big part of the saints of the Church, I think it's important to look for new "outside of the box" ways to minister. I think we can get creative when serving those both in and outside of our ward communities.

Here is what a church in Houston did to serve those outside of their walls. I have often mentioned in videos and on facebook that I'm happy to take requests, and many times people have written me asking me to pray for them - which I have. This is prayer request on a whole new level for today's fast paced modern world.

It's a great service to be able to help pray for others, but it's even more power when we vocally pray with them. I believe it increases the faith of both the person praying and the person being prayed for. It creates strength, unity, and bonds as well. 

Could you imagine what this would look like in an LDS community? Missionaries standing on the side of the road with signs offering drive up prayer. Or young men and young women, instead of washing cars for fundraising, standing by the side of the road with posters offering drive up prayers at no cost. Forget fundraising, how about soul saving? This would be awesome! I mean even walking into a retirement center and asking the residents if anyone would like a word of prayer? Taking the time to talk with them and ask them what they need prayers for, and then taking the time to pray over them each, individually.  

When I saw this, I imagined a weary man or exhausted mother driving home from a long and stressful day, feeling hopeless and at the end of their rope. Not finding a reason to continue living and feeling so alone in their trials. Then seeing a sign on the side of the road that says, "Drive-Thru Prayers. Let us Pray for You". Just imagine what that one prayer and act of kindness could do for that one soul. Beautiful!

Are You an 11th Hour Worker - And What Does That Mean?

Are you an 11th hour worker - what message can we learn from this final hour? I explain what that means and it's connection to 311. Check out what viewers have been sharing - and more about stars.

The Super Blue Blood Moon - Being Called "Trifecta Moon"

So what was this recent rare moon all about? The battle of darkness and light is ramping up as time winds down. I've experienced the truth of this in my own life over the past week and experienced a profound healing miracle! This is the hour to claim wholeness and experience the Lord's power. What does this mean for you? 

   

Release Binding Words & Let's Talk General Conference! (Part 1)

Words can be binding. They either work for us or against us. In this week's video message I share an experience I had about releasing binding words and explain how it changed a relationship. Also, I discuss several gems and themes that I pulled from last week's LDS General Conference. It truly was a conference full of treasure! Plus a little more about the wheat and the tares.


 

Ideas to Transform October 31st

This last week has been an incredible whirlwind. I never could have imagined how well received my video on false traditions would be received. Within just a week and a half of publishing it, it's had over 1,566 views, several comments and shares - and an outpouring of emails from women who are very supportive of and hungry for the message.

In addition to this, there have been many questions come in about offering ideas for creating new traditions to replace Halloween. So, I thought I'd share my thoughts about that here on my blog.

For me, I felt that because the Spirit had asked me to forsake Halloween completely, any kind of fall/harvest party or "celebration" to be had on October 31st, would contradict that promise I made to the Lord. The purpose of a harvest party is to replace Halloween with something better, so that people can still feel included in some kind of a celebration on October 31st and not feel "left out" or that they are "missing out". I felt that I wasn't to treat October 31st as a special day. By treating it special, I'd still be participating in Halloween - just tailoring it to justify my choice. You can paint an apple orange, but it doesn't make it an orange.

As I pondered on this, I felt that because of the nature of October 31st and what that day is truly about, it might not be our best interest to simply do nothing. I heard "spiritual warfare" in my mind. I felt that October 31st would be the perfect evening to counteract all the negative energy, darkness, and evil that reigns on that night. So many, ideas came to mind of things that we can do with our families that bring light into the world.

The first idea that came to my mind was how the temple would be the perfect place to spend October 31st. Worshiping and serving in the House of The Lord - no better place to be. Unfortunately when I went looked at the temple schedule I learned that the temple closes early on October 31st, and I can only imagine it's so that people can celebrate Halloween. That saddened me, and was an eye opener as to how deeply rooted this false tradition is in our culture. It has taken precedence over serving in the temple. What really was an eye opener was that the temples in my area (Ogden, and Bountiful) have limited hours on October 31st (listed under "closures"). As I looked at temples outside of Utah and all throughout the world, they have regular hours on October 31st. I was dumbfounded.

If your temple schedule allows, I think it would be a wonderful idea to make an effort to serve in the temple on October 31st at any time during the day or evening. Next, talk with your family and in prayer, ask the Lord guide you as to what you could best do on that day to serve Him and bring light into this world. It might be a service project for your community, it might be an evening of praise and worship in your home with beautiful music and a spiritual feast, it might be an evening of gratitude and expressing love and thankfulness in creative ways. If you dedicate that evening to worshiping the Lord through praise, service, prayer, and love - I think He will use you as a powerful tool to counteract that darkest day of the year.

We enjoy fall treats, crafts, and activities all through the season of fall. Because of this, I don't feel the need to make October 31st about fall or harvest. I intend to make it all about "Light". It's the perfect opportunity to bring light into your home, your community, and your city on a night where so much darkness increases.

I really feel a movement has begun - and it starts in our homes. As we push darkness out of our homes, and spread the Light - this movement will spread. The more families who opt out of Halloween, the more our culture will feel a shift. If people aren't celebrating it, the temple will resume regular hours. If people aren't celebrating it - we will see less of it in the stores and on our products. It won't be the first thing to greet you when you walk into the grocery store or the bank.

If you have some great ideas for making changes to your family traditions, tag your ideas, pictures and posts with #BeCleanofHalloween on social media to share ideas and connect with others who'd also like to change their traditions. This is a great way to link together and connect!

I have some final thoughts I plan to share about this in next week's video message. So much has happened this week, and I have truly learned a lot. Stay tuned for that message, and remember that no matter what you choose to do - if it brings glory to the Lord, and light into the world - you can't go wrong! :)

Peace, Prayer, and Power (a Recent Experience)

A little over a week ago I had some very exciting news happen, out of the blue. At the time I thought it was one of my biggest dreams coming true and a long-time prayer being answered. I was so excited that I beamed the entire day and nothing could have stopped me from being so happy that day....well, or so I thought.

Later that evening, as I investigated the good news I received, I saw that it wasn't at all what I had thought it to be. As I looked over the company's website again and again just to make sure that there wasn't a small ounce of hope I could hang on to, or something I had misunderstood, I quickly realized this was not an answer to my prayer. It was not at all what I had envisioned earlier that day.

Right away I felt a punch to the gut as reality sank in. All of that adrenaline and those endorphins, gone. What I thought was an opportunity that was going to take my dreams to the next level was nothing of the sort at all. Reminding myself that I need to always practice what I preach, I began to praise and thank the Lord for this experience. I praised Him for what I was to learn from it. I let Him know that I still had hope, but that I was also running low on motivation.

Over the next five days I felt zapped of positive energy. As I let each of my family members know (who had been there when I received the exciting surprise phone call) that I had turned down the "opportunity" as it was not what I thought it was, it felt as though someone was standing over me with a giant hammer and pounding my dreams and hopes to pieces. No matter what I did, this heaviness and devastation followed me around. I couldn't seem to shake it.

I thought about in that moment of excitement and shock, how I had put down the phone and prayed to my Heavenly Father and thanked Him for blessing me with this dream come true. Then I proceeded to tell my parents and siblings, and their families how you should never give up on your dreams and how Heavenly Father always has something amazing planned for us if we have hope, faith, and we ask. It was as though I gave the speech before accepting the Grammy - and the Grammy went to someone else. My family (who many had abandoned their dreams), must have been thinking, when is she going to finally stop dreaming?

One day, while praying and contemplating all of this, I told the Lord that I just wanted to get lost in service. In that moment, I felt that service was the only way out of this lingering disappointment. Just then I noticed an opportunity on a radio station website, to pray for people. It was a list of random people throughout the country who added themselves to a prayer list and specified what they were in need of. Some needed to feel love, others desired healing, and some just peace of mind or comfort. So, I clicked on the list.

 As random names and requests popped up, I began to pray for each person and their circumstance. As I said each name out loud, I could feel an overwhelming sense of love that our Father in Heaven has for each child. It was as though He was allowing me to feel that love, and as I pleaded on their behalf, I could feel a connection to each of these people and they were no longer just names on a computer screen.

I have always kept a prayer list in a binder for when I say my personal prayers. I add names to it often as I come across friends, neighbors and strangers that are in need - this way I don't forget anyone. There have even been times when people have called me and asked me to pray for them because they call me a "prayer warrior" - and I have added their names to my list. I have to say however, that praying for complete strangers, without understanding their full circumstances was a completely different experience. There was something very healing about it.

After an afternoon of praying, I felt an enormous sense of peace come over me, like I have never felt before. I can't explain it but I know it came from God. That heaviness and disappointment was gone! In fact, what's so strange about it is, I noticed that little things that used to bother me no longer bothered me at all. Past memories that were not so pleasant in my life suddenly had no unpleasant feelings attached to them. It was as though I had been cut free of all doubts, worries, fears, anxieties etc. I didn't have very many to begin with, but I had enough to realize there was such a big difference in my life now.

This amazing and incredible peace has stayed with me for over a week now. It's an enormous feeling of "all is well and all will stay well". Later that day, after praying for others, I received an email from a company in California letting me know they are interested in possibly extending the opportunity to me that I had been praying for. This time instead of great excitement or even doubts from the previous experience, I felt an amazing sense of peace with this email. I responded by thanking them and then putting it into the Lord's hands. I believe this was the motivation I had asked for. Later that evening, random readers, strangers and friends, connected with me through social media and each thanked me for something I had inspired them with. Again, the Lord was sending me motivation to keep on doing what I'm doing, and to keep on dreaming.

I know that as we forget about disappointments and worries in our own lives, and we hand everything over to the Lord while losing ourselves in service, He will bless us with His peace.
I say this in the name of Jesus Christ amen.

Here is a link to the prayer list - if you'd like to join!

http://www.klove.com/ministry/prayer/pray.aspx?cta=prayforsomeone

Being in the Right Place at the Right Time (to Help the Right Person)

I copied and pasted this from my FB page. It's an experience that happened to me last Saturday....

Just want to share a simple but beautiful experience. I woke up this morning at 6:30 AM wide awake. The spirit told me to go to the Bountiful temple right away. So I did. When I got the temple, it was so busy there was an hour wait for initiatory. I waited. I felt a voice say, "everything happens for a reason. All is well." When I came out, a lady stepped right into my changing room, so I had to wait. I felt a voice again say, "Everything happens for a reason. All is well." I then felt that someone was about to turn the corner and I was in "the right place at the right time". Just then a sweet sister turned the corner and her eyes lit up when she saw me. "Oh my goodness how are you?" she said. She looked familiar but I couldn't place how I knew her. As we began to talk she refreshed my memory of how we had met several months prior. It had been another one of those moments where the spirit told me to attend a class in Farmington. It was a class I had attended before and didn't understand why I would need to go again. But I went. When it had ended, I felt I needed to stay and just wait in a corner...so I did. That was when I met this sweet lady and her sister. We talked that night how our meeting was meant to be. Something happened that night too sacred to share here, but it was then I knew that, that had been the reason I was prompted to go. So I could have that experience and meet these beautiful ladies. ...fast forward to today. The lady told me that she had been woken by the spirit at 5:30 AM and told to go to the temple. So she did. She had been having a very rough week and praying for answers and help for peace, happiness and healing. The spirit told her to go to the temple and she would find her answer. When she ran into me, we began to talk and the things I began to share were the answers she was seeking. I had no idea. She said she has seen my picture a lot lately and I had been on her mind but she didn't know how to find me. I gave her my number and I'm so humbled and happy to see what happens from here. I just wanted to share how awesome the blessings are when we are in tune to the spirit, obedient, and allow the Lord to use us has instruments in His hands. So happy today!!

Update...

Just an update from my temple story. A month ago, the Lord told me he would start to send people into my life whom he wanted me to help and to be ready at all times to help them. I have been humbled at how amazing his orchestrations are. I continue to be in the right place at the right time to help the right person. If off by just a minute or slight distraction these moments wouldn't happen. He is amazing!!

Have You Been Chosen?

I've been reading Sheri Dew's book No Doubt About It, and let me just say that Chapter Three has been ground shaking for me. Sheri talks about how our spirits long for us to remember who we have always been. If we understood this and remembered, it would change everything. It would change how see ourselves, our confidence and affect everything we do.

Sheri goes on to talk about how we qualified by spiritual valor to be born into the House of Israel. She says, "...which lineage President Harold B. Lee called the 'most illustrious lineage' of all who would come to earth. Elder Bruce R. McConkie wrote that 'The whole House of Israel, known and segregated out from their fellows, was inclined toward spiritual things'. He also noted that the foreordination to come to the earth as a member of the House of Israel was 'an election...for those so chosen, selected, or elected become, in this life, the favored people [in that] though all mankind may be saved by obedience, some find it easier to believe and obey than others'".

The kind of lives we lived in our premortal life determined what we could receive in this life.After all we did have agency and we exercised it all the time. It makes sense as we are taught that the kind of lives we live here on this earth will determine where we spend eternity. I truly believe that we were taught and schooled in our premortal life all about what mortal life would be like. We were told that our choices in our premortal life would determine further blessings in our mortal life. We did all we could to prepare. My own patriarchal blessing speaks about things I did in my premortal life that were pleasing to the Father and what those choices earned me in this life.

To take it a step further, look at where you were born, the freedoms you have and the blessings of the gospel in your life. You clearly were an incredible spirit engaging in important and pleasing work and therefore you were elected to your place in this world. You were elected because everyone believed in you and knew that you would be the best person to accomplish your specific mission. That alone should increase your confidence about who you really are and what you are capable of.

Being born into the House of Israel also tells you that you are "inclined toward spiritual things" meaning that you recognize eternal truths very easily. You recognize when the Spirit speaks to you and you act. You understand and recognize personal revelation and you seek it. These are the characteristics of the spirits who were chosen to be born into the House of Israel. A chosen people.

Sheri says that George Q. Cannon repeatedly taught that God reserved his noblest spirits to come forth in this last dispensation. Yes my friends, we were the strongest. Now, when I think of nobility I think of the greatest leaders, prophets  apostles and righteous kings. If we were all the noblest spirits then are were we not of that same group? Given different assignments and positions but nonetheless of the same nobility. Incredible! You are more than capable and qualified for the work you have been called to do. You even believed so yourself before you passed through the veil and your memory was gone. If you can truly beleive that again, imagine what you could accomplish!

As parents, we were chosen to rear up this last generation prior to Christ's return. We were the strongest and most qualified out of all the spirits in heaven to teach the last wave of missionaries that would take the gospel to all the earth.  It was us. We were elected.

Satan also knows who we are and what we were chosen to do. It angers and terrifies him. When you feel those thoughts of doubt and negativity that you aren't good enough or why bother with anything you know that is Satan trying to keep you far from remembering who you once were and who you still are. When you have those thoughts get on your knees and ask for help to remove them. If you can push aside his lies and tactics you will discover incredible truths about yourself.

Lastly, Sheri says that we will never be at peace until we fully understand who we are, who we have always been and who we may become. She suggests that we go to the Lord in prayer and ask him to talk to us through the Spirit about us. Begin by reading D&C 138 and Abraham 3, continue in prayer and the Lord will speak to you about you.

Well, I don't know about you but I can't wait to give this a go. As you can tell from my previous posts this has been a strong topic on my mind lately and it's amazing how the Lord is leading me to all of these great books, scriptures, talks and people who are building upon this knowledge for me. Like I said before, these books just fell into my lap at the library. I wasn't looking for them or any specific book, they just somehow stood out and I grabbed them off the shelf in a hurry without reading the backs. They all align with each other.

In fact, today a returned missionary spoke in our sacrament meeting and his entire talk was about "many are called, but few are chosen". I have been discussing that scripture all week and it's meaning. We have all been called (elected) to our missions and positions in this life but only the few who magnify their callings and strive to build up the kingdom will be chosen. Yes, there are many who forgot they were called and they have strayed from being chosen. They do not say, "Lord, here I am. Please use me. I will serve thee." The Lord chooses who he can use and rely on to do his great work.

I testify to you, that we are not here on this earth to waste time, be idle and just entertain our own pleasures. We are here on a mission to do a work. We have been called and we need to roll up our sleeves and get busy. Life will not be as fulfilling and satisfying until we do. When our spirits rejoice at our remembering the promises we made and as we get involved in the work, we will find great happiness and enjoyment in this life for we will be chosen. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ amen.

Bishop's Message

In church today we had a combined third hour with the Relief Society and the Priesthood. I felt so blessed to have been there, on the front row listening to the bishop's message of warning.

Having been recently out of town, having sick children, subbing a lot for primary and serving in the primary all last year, I was very fortunate to have been able to attend all three meetings today and hear the wonderful and eye opening messages that were shared. 

The second hour (Sunday school) was all about missionary work and how it is that stone rolling down the mountain. A brother spoke of a mission that currently has 60 missionaries and is expected to triple over the next few months. Another sister mentioned that around 150 or so missions have recently opened up and now women consist of 50% of the mission field where they used to be closer to 14% or somewhere around that number. It's amazing.

Our Sunday school teacher said that today the field is white and ready to harvest more than ever before, and the Lord has already sowed the seeds, we just need to do the harvesting. I was reminded of a conversation I had with my brother last week. He served his mission in Ireland about 14 years ago. He said that it was a tough mission and he only had about two prospects interested in the gospel the entire time. He felt bad that he didn't have the success he had hoped for.

Well, a few months ago he had a dream one night that he was called to go on another mission in which he would bring many souls unto the Savior and there would be many baptisms. When he woke up he figured it was a dream foretelling of a time when maybe his kids were grown and gone and he and his wife could serve a mission together. Then, two weeks later he was called as the ward mission leader. He lives in Spanish Fork. Over the last few months of serving in this calling he has found many people in his neighborhood who he has invited to meet with the missionaries - four of them have been baptized. So, two years in a foreign land with no baptisms and three months in his own neighborhood with four baptisms - amazing! He said that it has been very rewarding and enriching to serve in this calling and he finally recognized that this was the mission his dream had foretold of.

In these last days (or hours as we might call them) gathering everyone to Zion is the ultimate focus and goal of the church. People are ready and the Lord is preparing them to hear His gospel. I feel that the many great trials that are on their way will be what softens the hearts of many and prepares them to hear and accept the gospel.

We have these opportunities all around us every day and if we have the desire to serve, than we have already been called.

Doctrine and Covenants Section 4 sums it up perfectly;

 1 Now behold, a ^amarvelous work is about to come forth among the children of men.

 2 Therefore, O ye that embark in the ^aservice of God, see that ye ^bserve him with all your heart, might, mind and strength, that ye may stand ^cblameless before God at the last day.

 3 Therefore, if ye have desires to serve God ye are ^acalled to the work;

 4 For behold the ^afield is white already to ^bharvest; and lo, he that thrusteth in his sickle with his might, the same layeth up in ^cstore that he perisheth not, but bringeth salvation to his soul;

 5 And ^afaith, ^bhope, ^ccharity and ^dlove, with an ^eeye single to the ^fglory of God, ^gqualify him for the work.

 6 Remember faith, ^avirtue, knowledge, ^btemperance, ^cpatience, ^dbrotherly ^ekindness, ^fgodliness, charity, ^ghumility, ^hdiligence.

 7 ^aAsk, and ye shall receive; ^bknock, and it shall be opened unto you. Amen.

During the third hour the bishop stood and said that he has been recently warned by the Lord that something drastic is about to happen and he has been prompted to prepare our ward temporally and spiritually as quickly as possible like never before. His eyes and expression were intense, and he didn't appear happy to be delivering this message. He didn't say if it was something local, national or global but just that he hoped these warnings were wrong. 

After he spoke, there were three additional speakers who spoke about how to get our ward prepared for what is coming. Our ward is a new ward of only three months. In the past wards I have been in, there were efforts to prepare the members but not as quickly and as intense as this. We quickly were told about a plan to divide the streets into sections of 6 households with a priesthood brother as a block captain and that each unit will be in charge of helping each other when the crisis hits. We are going to have several upcoming meetings to take inventory of everyone's skills and supplies so that we can help take care of each other and know our resources.

The messages continued on the path that all will not be well soon and we need to be ready for things to get worse and worse. This is what it took for my husband to finally be willing to discuss these things with me. He usually despises talking about the last days, warnings and what's coming - but now he is finally on board with me and I'm grateful for the message of warning that our loving bishop shared with us today. I feel blessed to be living in a ward with so many members who are in tune to the spirit and who have a desire to help everyone prepare. My heart yearns to become a more Zion like people and I'm ready serve, love and give all I have for the building up of Zion. 

I love this gospel, I love the Savior and I love trusting in God and seeing His hand in all things in my life. I'm striving to be more like the Savior and extending love and compassion to all. I know what awaits us will be bitter sweet - but I am willing to deal with the bitter in order to enjoy the sweet.

I say this in the name of Jesus Christ amen.

An Amazing Woman - One of My Heros!

 In my recent post about my great, great, great grandmother Anna Regina Keller I had written about her humbling experience when inquiring the Lord about the blessing of food. There is so much more to share about this amazing woman. The stories I have about her are quite lengthy so I decided to extract my favorite tidbits and share with you below.

She really had an impact on the town of Manti and reflected the principals and values that I try to emulate in my own life. I am honored to share my favorite of her personal experiences below:

(Anna's adobe house on Main St. in Manti - since has been remodeled)

Anna R. Keller had a thrilling experience a little more than a year after they moved into their own home. One day when the first child was but a few months old and while father was away at work, three big Indian bucks unceremoniously entered the cellar. It had been the custom of the Indians to camp on the adjoining lot where every night they held war dances and contests around a great camp fire purposely kindling the spirit of hate for the white man who had come into their territory. After carefully looking everything over they asked for a pair of father’s boots and for a blanket. Mother shook her head saying “No” they then pretended to want the baby. Again inwardly frozen with terror she calmly shook her head and with a prayer in her heart waited motionless while they sat on the floor and held a consultation occasionally pointing with arrows at her indicating that they might use them. After some minutes of fear and suspense they rose and walked out without a word. They never molested her again although they continued to hold their war like ceremonies only a block away. 

Anna R Keller also served her Relief Society as secretary for 12 years. During these years she made every effort to change the routine testimony meetings, they were never anything else. She advocated the preparation of a subject to be presented by someone in order to add interest to the meetings. And to prove her point she would prepare subjects and confine herself to them when speaking instead of merely giving her testimony as was customary. She lived to see her ideals fulfilled in the splendid outlines of study now in use. 

Anna R Keller was peculiarly gifted in the case of the sick and was usually called by neighbors and friends when there was sickness in their homes. Many a sick child was restored to health under her wise ministrations.

She was a woman of great sympathy and charity especially for the poor and obscure and to make them feel welcome and at ease. This characteristic is best exemplified by the fact that although she had a large family of her own, she took into her home and cared for two poor older persons whose death had left them friendless and alone as well as a 15 month old abandoned negro child, George, who was reared as her own. In these acts of kindness and sympathy she had the whole hearted cooperation of her husband and children. One of her favorite expressions was “In as much as ye do it unto the least of these, ye have done it unto me.” 

Mother in her religious zeal frequently begged father to embrace and practice the doctrine of polygamy. He quietly told her that he would not be able to endure it and that he was willing to take the consequences for the omission. Once when the ward teacher called and began to discuss polygamy, telling him he was falling in his duty as he was well able to afford it. One of his daughters took them on in a debate. He listened with a merry twinkle in his eye as she defended his position but he did not participate in the discussion.

 When the Manti temple was dedicated in May 1888, Anna R Keller was called as a missionary with the first company of workers to officiate in the Manti temple ordinances. For 26 years thereafter she gladly gave her services to the church she loved and was an untiring, devout temple worker. At the time of the dedication of the Manti temple she bears testimony that it was her wonderful experience to hear heavenly music, a privilege not granted to many.  

On December 15, 1897 when five of the temple sisters or ordinance workers were conversing upon spiritual and temporal blessings, one of the ladies arose and addressed Anna R Keller in tongues. Of course she could not understand the words. But another sister arose and gave the interpretation which was that her work and integrity were accepted by the Lord and that her departed husband was watching her with great interest as well as pleased with her and that all her affairs should turn to her spiritual and temporal welfare. 

These were indeed uplifting words to her. This manifestation certainly came to pass. For although she spent a great deal of money to obtain her genealogy, her farm produced well and her sheep brought her a nice income so that she lived on the interest of her holdings. 

During 1914 when failing health forced her to retire from her temple work she often remarked that since there was nothing more that she could do here she was anxious to pass on to a new experience and to new activities and to join her loved ones who had gone before. 

About this time she became blind and remained so very for several months. However it was her firm belief that she would again see. Through faith, prayer, and the administrations by the elders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints she again received her sight and was able to read and write until the time of her death on May 17^th at the age of 79 and was laid to rest in the Manti cemetery. 

Her great, granddaughter (my grandmother) also became blind toward the end of her life. When discovering this story about Anna Regina Keller I pointed it out to my grandmother and asked her if she had ever asked for a priesthood blessing in regards to her blindness. She told me no and said she just figured that the Lord probably wanted her to be blind for a reason and there was no point in asking Him about it. She also said she didn't have the faith required for a blessing of healing.

I was amazed at her response. I think sometimes we forget that the amazing experiences and miracles that our ancestors had were bestowed by the same priesthood we have today. We are every bit as deserving - but has our faith decreased? Now is the time to increase our faith because we will rely on many miracles in the near future.

I testify that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ amen.

Boundaries and the Gospel - Coping with Toxic People

We all have people in our lives who rub us the wrong way, press our buttons, or see the glass half empty about everything in life. This can be mentally, emotionally and spiritually draining for everyone. 

During the last 7 months I had a few people in my life who fell into the above description. It was as if a black cloud followed them everywhere they went. Everything in their lives (according to them) was going wrong. They were swimming in trials, challenges and struggles and their way of coping with it was to complain. It was everyone else's fault - they were the victims. 

Now being a positive person, I am like a magnet. I attract these people into my lives unexpectedly. They come to me wanting to vent, feel listened to, validated,  justified, and uplifted. I have always done my best to listen and be a shoulder to cry on. 

Over time, it was starting to wear on me. A negative energy seems to follow these people around and if around them to long, that negative energy sucks the life right out of you. Because there were a handful of these people I was spending time with, it was triple the amount of negative energy and I began to feel stress, anxiety and exhaustion.

Now, I don't mind lending a helping hand, listening ear or my time in general to those who are just going through a tough moment. That's understandable and the Christ-like thing to do. Being there for others often helps them through the tough moment and then they are able to move onward and upward. However, the handful of people in my life were not moving onward and upward they were stuck in a state of negativity and had been for months, even since the day we had met.

Before I tell you my solution - I want to describe the unhealthy aspects that these people had in common. Maybe you can relate to someone in your life.

• If you say 'what they want to hear' then you "love them and you understand"
• If you say something they don’t want to hear but it’s being truthful (even if in a loving manner) then you are not listening and you do not understand which means you do not care.
• They frequently say, "I'm glad God is the final judge and not me..." but they do judge by pointing out others' wrongdoings or having offended them and then saying that those people are going to have to face God's judgements. Is that not judging?
• They are passive aggressive. Saying and doing things to get what they want or to get you to react the way they want.
• They are offended easily and worried that they are being judged constantly.
• They analyze everything a person says even down to their body language. To them, everyone has an alternate motive.
• They cannot seem to forgive and hold grudges. They either say they have forgiven someone but clearly they have not, or they say what that person has done does not warrant forgiveness and the Lord will understand. 
• When someone else repents of a wrongdoing - these people cannot let that former action go. They constantly bring up what that person did even if it was 20 years ago and that person has changed their lives for the better.
• They are envious of others who have good lives and are happy. They say it's not fair. "Why can't I have that? I'm a good person. Why me?"
• They are selfish inwardly. On the outside they make efforts to serve others in a self gratifying way as to point out to others that they do in fact, serve. Yet they keep tally points. Keeping track of who serves them and who doesn’t. Rather than focusing on others the focus is on themselves. Always focusing on what people are or aren’t doing for them to make their lives easier or better. 
• They'd rather have someone do something for them than show them how so they can do for themselves. 
• When someone does something kind, they point out that it could have been kinder. They emphasize what that person lacked in their service.
• They don’t have any friends. Everyone is "out to get them", has abandoned them or turned on them. They are lonely. 
• They want to always have a sense of control, in every situation and in every relationship.
•  They take on "stalker -like" qualities. Wanting your attention several times throughout the day or week. If you don't answer the phone, they continue calling and leaving messages asking why you are not responding. Demanding that you call them right away. They want to know where you have been and what you have been doing, to see if your behaviors are justified. 
• You feel the need to make excuses even when you shouldn't have to. It's as though making an excuse somehow alleviates the pressure  and prevents them from becoming offended or angry. Yet, it makes you become angry. 
• Though you really were not avoiding these people when you didn't answer the phone when they called (you just have a family to take care of and other responsibilities in your life that take priority) you now feel the desire to avoid them. You get a sick feeling in your stomach when you see their name on your phone. You lose sleep and your eating habits change. It becomes a hazard to your health.

I call these TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS. If you are giving more than you are receiving it can be hazardous on your health and your spirituality. If the cons outweigh the pros it's not worth maintaining these relationships. Here's the solution.

The Savior taught us compassion but he also taught us the importance of setting boundaries. He taught us that you can still show love for someone but not for their behaviors. He threw over the moneychangers' tables at the temple. Often he didn’t do what people wanted him to do - especially those who expected miracles just to make life easier. Whenever he did help other people he expected them to do their part. For instance, even in Jesus’ miracles he asked people to do something, usually something they felt they couldn’t do. (The blind man had to walk a long way to get to the pool of Siloam to wash the mud out of his eyes.)

We can and should be tolerant and accepting of everyone, but this does not mean that we let others walk all over us or try to control or manipulate us. We can still be kind to others but this does not mean that we have to say "yes" to everything asked of us. Someone once told me that if you say "no" with a smile on your face - you can't go wrong. 

If you are a person who has the aspects mentioned above - read this message from Pres. Uchtdorf. If you read it with a humble hear it will change your life.  http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/the-merciful-obtain-mercy?lang=enghttp://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/the-merciful-obtain-mercy?lang=eng

Now, if this person is a family member or you have a special stewardship over them, then I do not agree in cutting off the relationship (unless there is physical violence involved).  You will need to set boundaries with love - and stick to them.

In all other circumstances if you feel that you just need to cut off a toxic relationship you can do so in a loving way. First, try setting boundaries with this person. Let them know what is and is not okay. They need to know. If they respect your boundaries things will work out. If they cross the boundaries then you must be honest and upfront. Let them know this behavior is not okay. A healthy relationship requires respect and love from both sides. If one person is not respecting or showing love - there is no relationship. Be honest with this person in a stern yet loving manner. If you are honest - you should not feel guilty. How a person chooses to react to your honesty is their choice and not your fault in any way. 

Finally, pray for this person. Serving this person through prayer will help you love and forgive them.

I had to clean up shop in my life and set some of these boundaries. For some, they chose to be offended and removed themselves from my life. I chose not to feel guilty but actually a sense of relief. For others, they valued my friendship and gave me some space. They knew that they could come to me anytime when they had something positive to share but if they were having a pitty party they needed to be proactive find another way to take care of it.

By treating people kindly in the way we talk to them it becomes easier to say "No". After a while this person will get used to hearing "no" from you and will move on to someone who will tell them "yes". 

It's important to serve and to love others but if we let others overstep our boundaries, our capacity and desire to love and serve can be drained. This can affect our families and our testimonies. We shouldn't serve because others expect it, we should do so because we choose to. God is not a God of force or manipulation, He is a God of agency. By setting boundaries you can reserve your energy to continue serving and loving all of God's children.

I say this in the name of Jesus Christ amen.