#2) The Happy Lady - Resolutions vs. Affirmations
Published on Dec 31, 2014
So, today I thought it would be really fitting with the new year coming, to talk about
I find it interesting that in the word, you see the word “resolve”, “solve”, and “solution”.
To me, when I think about New Year's resolution the top ones that come to my mind are losing weight, getting a better job, going on a fun vacation, improving spirituality... it's interesting also to know that New Year's resolutions have actually been around for a long time. The ancient Babylonians used to practice them at the beginning of every new year they believed in making these promises to their gods of returning objects that they had borrowed and paying off their debts and then in later years we see with Jews, Catholics, and the rest of Christianity, certain holidays or holy days that are set aside to reflect on self-improvement. So, really it's something that's been around for a long time throughout so many different cultures and beliefs. In 2007 there was actually a study performed it was conducted at the University of Bristol by a man named Richard Wiseman, and it was really interesting in the study he had 3000 participants and they all put together these resolutions, and overall when all was said and done 88% of the participants failed. That's a huge number that tells us that 12% of 3,000 participants actually succeeded in their New Year's resolutions. So, I I don't know I find that pretty interesting and that's kind of where I want to take today's video.
(2:33) So why are people most likely so unsuccessful with reaching their resolutions? Personally my opinion with it is New Year's resolutions are “I will” statement so their statements that haven't happened yet there of the future, “I will lose weight”, “I will get a better job”, “I will complete my education”, these are all things that were set on doing down the road so they haven't happened yet. Now as time gets going in our busy lives, we have these excuses, and things happen, and suddenly that future doesn't look quite the way we wanted it to. It's not quite like we anticipated, and slowly we kind of fall off that track. And what happens to our goals and resolutions? We kind of abandon them, kind of forget about them, they kind of seem almost hopeless. So that's where today's video is is going to lead into.
(3:33) I want to talk about affirmations. Affirmations are what I use. I don't do New Year's resolutions, I don't do resolutions, I do affirmations. So, what's the difference between an affirmation and a resolution? Well like I said a resolution is and “I will” statement an affirmation is an “ I am” statement. That’s powerful! So “I am” is what's happening in the present time, that's what is happening right now. It's what you believe. It's your reality. Think about it for a minute, think about all the times you said... you look in the mirror and you say negative, “I am” statements all the time, “I'm fat”, “I'm ugly”, “I'm not good enough”, “I'm this”, “I'm that…” Usually we were set on noticing the things that we don't like about ourselves but we truly believe them. We truly believe that that's our reality and that's why we hear ourselves say, “I am”.
(4:34) So, now what if we flipped on around? If there's power in it towards the negative things about ourselves, why don't we recognize that there's also power in it about the positive things in our lives? If we were to start saying more, “ I'm beautiful”, “I'm healthy”, “I'm intelligent”, “I'm amazing”, all of these wonderful things about ourselves. If we were to start staying those everyday and say, “I am”, and actually believe them, we're creating our reality. Those things will come to pass as we believe that they are coming to pass.
(5:10) So, that's what I want to talk about today. That is the power of an affirmation. Now for those of us who are Christians, who believe in Jesus Christ, I find it really interesting if you look in the New Testament, how many times the Savior refers to himself as “I Am”, “I Am the bread of life”, “I Am the light of the world”, “I am the beginning”, “I Am the Alpha and Omega”, all of these “I am” statements. Now there's reason behind that. There is power in “I am” statements.
(5:45) For those of us who are Christian, we believe that we have the Light of Christ within us. Everyone who comes into the world, has that Light of Christ already in them. So, you already have this power in you, the power to know who you really are. So, when you say “I am”, it is powerful and it's it is your reality you make it real. I want you to think about that because it's very powerful and it's very important.
(6:15) I'm actually going to take a minute now to kind of explain this, by telling you some of my affirmations and how doing this has worked in my own life. You can see I got lots of affirmations written down and as things come into my mind as the weeks go on I continue to add to these growing list of affirmations. Now what's important about this is you have to do them every day. Every day that you're saying these statements, you're creating your reality for that day. So, for me, I noticed whenever I miss an opportunity or a day, or a couple days go by and I don't see these these “I am” statements, I notice a difference in my life. I do. And so, saying these out loud is very powerful on your mind. Your your mind believes what you tell it to believe. So if you're saying these statements and you're saying that you are these things, your mind is absolutely going to believe that you are those things! And after you do this so often, day after day after day, you just create that reality.
(7:21) Okay I'm going to share with you some of my statements that have recently come to pass. There's a lot that are really personal so I'm not going to talk about those but I've had many many come to pass recently and it's been amazing! One that I want to share with you because I think a lot of people can relate to, is in regards to food. It says “I am only craving foods that are good for my body, foods that are toxic for my body do not sound or taste delicious to me”. Now let me tell you this was incredible because I've been doing this for a couple weeks - this statement - I remember I had a friend and she surprised me with this delicious cupcake, one of my favorite cupcakes from a certain place that I absolutely love and she surprised me with it and I looked at it and I thought, “Huh, gosh normally this sounds so delicious but I'm looking at it and for some reason it doesn't sound very delicious at all.” But I went home and I said no no no this is something I really like I'm going to indulge. So, I took a bite into this cupcake and it was not what I thought it would be. Same cupcake I've had many times before, my absolute favorite flavor and when I bit into it I didn't like it. I didn't enjoy it. It didn't taste good to me. And a light bulb went on, and I remembered it was this affirmation, this “I am” statement that I have been saying every day and it had come to pass. And I laughed. I took a minute and I laughed about it and I thought, “wow”! In the moment that I thought I would want a cupcake I had to be grateful that I actually didn't because I wanted to start making healthier choices for my body and I felt that it was difficult for me to do. So, in this moment when it was such an easy choice you know, “I don't need this cupcake. I don't desire it. It doesn't taste good to me,” it was absolutely incredible!
(9:21) Another statement that I want to share with you is...I am really big into family history and I've been building my family tree for for quite some time now, and for me I would spend a lot of days sitting at the computer feeling like I was just wasting hours trying to find a name, and I couldn't solve the mystery as I’d get stuck on a person and I couldn't figure out where the family tree went from there. I spent so many hours doing it feeling like I was getting nowhere, and it was really frustrating. So, here's the statement I came up with: “I am building my family tree with ease and joy while finding plenty of time in my schedule to do so.” I started saying this statement and I kid you not, the very next time I sat down at the computer to do my family history, the names just came. I was Finding name after name, after name, within just a short amount of time and still to this day as I sit down every few days and I do my family history I can find anywhere from 12-15 names in 1 hour which is incredible for me. Never been able to do that before, and I know it's because of the statement I've been telling myself. I've been creating this reality that when I sit down to build my family tree it's easy for me and I find joy in it. And that wasn't happening before, so this has truly been incredible for me.
(10:50) With that there's vision boards. I'm not going to really go into detail on mine, it's kind of personal, but a vision board is something where you put together visualisations of the things that you want to happen in your life, and for some of us seeing is believing. When we see something and we visualize it happening happening to us, it just becomes more real. So I recommend getting that vision board and doing it hand-in-hand with your affirmations.
(11:19) Okay, so for some of us seeing is believing. Not all of us not all of us need to see something in order to believe it, and that’s where the faith comes in but some of us need just a little extra help. So that's where the vision board comes in handy because you're seeing those images before you and you're putting that in your mind that these things are happening. So, I want to give you a little example of what it looks like when I sit down and I do these affirmations each day. Everyone does them a little bit differently. What's most important is it that you do them, you do them regularly, you do them each day, and that you create a system, a way of doing it that works for you.So here’s what I do.
(12:00) Each day, usually in the afternoon when my kids are down for a nap and the others are at school, I go into the office and I kneel down and I just start with a prayer. And I thank the Lord for blessing me with these desires that I have for helping them and making them come to pass. For orchestrating the details in my life and the events and setting things up the wonderful way that He does so that these things happen according to His time and His will. Because my affirmations I feel like are good, they’re righteous desires that I have, I do believe, firmly believe, that my Heavenly Father wants to bless me with those things. So, I thank Him up front for doing all the work and orchestrating these things on my behalf, to help them come to pass in my life.
(12:53) Then I go through and I read off the entire list of all of these affirmations... “I am, I am, I am”. As I'm saying them I imagine them happening in my mind. So, if I say I am healthy what what does that look like? I see it in my mind what life looks like for me when I'm 100% healthy. And if I say... here’s one a lot of us would say... “I'm completely debt-free” well, what does that look like? You know, imagine what that would look like for you in your life - if you were completely debt-free. So, as you say these “I am” statements, I want you to imagine in your head what that looks like and then it becomes more powerful and more real for you.
(13:34) So, as I come to a close, I end the prayer and I just ponder for a minute and I just soak it all in. I think about all these things and then I just kind of send it out there. Let it all go out there. Let those statements just kind of float off out into space or wherever. Just know that they're out there. It's kind of like a boomerang - you throw them out there, those statements are real because you said them, and you just put them out there. They're going to go away and then they're going to come back and those are those black things that you're going to receive into your life coming back and those are those blessing that you’re going to receive from what you put out, from what you sent away.
(14:12) Anyways, so here is your homework assignment. I always try to give a small assignment at the end of every video to kind of help you put these things into practice so that you can experience them in your life. So, today's homework assignment is so simple. Just go ahead and start with coming up with 5 real simple,real basic, positive “I am” statements that you want to see in your life, and write them down on a piece of paper and I want you to try for the next 30 days to repeat these - even several times a day, maybe the first week even do it more than once a day. Do it so often that it becomes a habit. The more you say them, the more you're going to believe them. Now that's important for me to point out. The first time that you start doing this you're going to be saying some things that you programmed your brain not to believe. At first you're going to kind of feel like you're lying. You know, a good example of that would be, “I have amazing children. We have an awesome relationship”, and maybe you know, you laugh at that because (you know where I'm going with that) yeah you say it and it feels like a lie, like “this isn't true, my kids are horrible. Why am I saying this? It's not true.” Well, every time you tell yourself it's not true, you're creating that reality, and it isn't true.
(15:30) So, it's going to be really hard that first week and you just have to keep saying over and over, “imagine what that looks like with your kids being amazing. Imagine what that relationship looks like for the both of you”, and do this for 30 days. And I want you to write down what starts happening. Keep a little journal. Log down each day what you're noticing going on in your life, and at the end of those 30 days revisit this. Watch this video again. Evaluate what happened and you will see an amazing difference in your life, and then from there because you did it with just five simple “I am” statements, you can grow your list and it becomes easier to do. You become more of a believer with it and from their life just gets incredibly amazing.
(16:16) So thank you so much for sitting down with me today and reviewing affirmations with me. Life is what you make it. It is what you make it. So, I just want to challenge you to be more positive and start seeing the things and believing the things that you want to happen in your life.
For more tips and videos on all of this amazing stuff on being more positive you can visit my website yourhappylady.com and you can also watch my channel on YouTube at “HappyMarriages”. Thanks so much, good luck, and we'll see you next time!
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